Choose Your Own Valentine

Our guide to a perfect Valentine’s Day for any relationship status.
February 04, 2015
(The ingredients for the perfect Valentine's Day)
 
 
Even under the best of circumstances, Valentine’s Day can be incredibly tricky to navigate. But when your relationship status doesn’t fit comfortably with a traditional category things can get even more complicated! What do you get your long-term partner to help spice things up in the bedroom? If you’re single, where should you go dancing to find a man for the night? Where do you take your fuck buddy out for fun, no strings attached dinner? Thankfully, there are enough options in gay New York to make your Valentine’s Day is as romantic or as sexy as you want it to be! 
 

SINGLE

 
The Perfect Gift
Treat yourself to a spa day! The Setai Club and Spa (40 Broad St; setaiclubnewyork.com) offers specials like the three-hour Setai Serenity Suite Ritual and the 90-minute Tour of Asia treatment.
 
The Perfect Meal
Valentine Night of Love at Lips, 227 E 56th St (btwn Second/Third Aves), lipsnyc.com
You won’t feel so bad about eating out alone once Ariel Sinclair hits the stage, serving a true showgirl spectacle as you’re served delicious eats. The aphrodisiac prix fixe menu might make you feel sad to be solo—until you realize you’re better off than the third wheel that other couple brought along. 5pm, 7pm, and 9:30pm seatings; $12 (plus $32.95–$39.95 meal).
 
The Perfect Night Out 
One Night Stand @ Tribeca Grand, 288 Church St (@ White St), susannebartsch.com.
Plenty of sexy, well-dressed boys will be at Susanne Bartsch’s Valentine’s affair. DJs Amber Valentine and Object Permanence will provide steamy beats to help you find a sweetheart. 10pm; $10. 
 

JUST STARTED DATING

 
The Perfect Gift
A receipt for your Truvada prescription.
 
The Perfect Meal
Chelsea Grill, Hell’s Kitchen, 675 Ninth Ave (btwn 46th/47th Sts), chelseagrillnyc.com.
You and your new boy toy can focus on each other at this laid-back American eatery, where the Valentine’s pre-fixe menu includes wild mushroom bruschetta, Ahi tuna salad, blue cheese-crusted New York steak, and a chocolate strawberry shortcake with fresh whipped cream for desert, all for only $85 per couple—and that includes a bottle of your favorite white or red wine.
 
The Perfect Night Out
Love Affair at Posh, 405 W 51st St (@ Ninth Ave), poshbarnyc.com.
When you’re in the first flush of a new relationship, it doesn’t really matter where you are: you’ll be on the dance floor making out like there’s no one else in the room. DJ Scott Goodz has tunes that will keep you dancing, and with $5 Royal Cosmos at the bar you can get nice and tipsy before hightailing it to the nearest horizontal surface with your new man. 9pm; free.
 

LONG TERM COUPLE

 
The Perfect Gift
Instead of getting each other gifts, go in together on something you both can enjoy, like a trip upstate to a bed and breakfast. Skip the overpriced V-Day package and plan an exciting mini-vacay this spring at a rustic-yet-stylish destination like the gay-owned Stickett Inn in Bayville, NY (stickettinn.com).
 
The Perfect Meal
Elmo, 156 Seventh Ave (btwn 19th/20th Sts), elmorestaurant.com.
This Chelsea favorite will have a DJ spinning romantic classics and pop throwbacks that’ll remind you and your man of the honeymoon stage. Elmo’s chef has also prepared a special tasting menu with treats like bacon-wrapped dates, pesto goat cheese, and pan-seared diver scallops. Make a reservation to ensure you get a table!
 
The Perfect Night Out
Valentine’s Day Party at Boots & Saddle, 76 Christopher St (btwn Seventh Ave S/Bleecker St), bootsandsaddlenyc.com.
After you’ve stuffed yourselves at dinner, load up on cocktails and wigged-out shenanigans at this beloved drag bar’s V-Day bash, with a cast of queens who will have you laughing hard enough to make you regret eating all those bacon-wrapped dates. 5pm–2am; free.
 

OPEN RELATIONSHIP

 
The Perfect Gift
If you’re letting your boyfriend sleep around, you want to be sure the guys he’s boning aren’t psychos. Spring for a Pro membership for Grindr or Scruff. That way you can fully vet any and all potential tricks before he meets them. 
 
The Perfect Meal
Cafeteria, 119 Seventh Ave (btwn 17th/18th Sts), cafeteriagroup.com.
This chic Chelsea spot has everything you want for a meal when you and your boo are in an open relationship: tasty à la carte items like Steak Oscar and phyllo-crusted crab cakes, salted caramel cake for dessert, and plenty of hotties who may also be in open relationships that you can check out together during dinner.
 
The Perfect Night Out 
Steve Grand at Sub Culture, 42 Bleecker St (@ Mulberry St), subculturenewyork.com.
If you trust him enough to let him sleep with other people you probably feel comfortable letting your guys see you get all weepy listening to sexy singer-songwriter Steve Grand’s country-tinged tunes. Catch a preview the out “All-American Boy” singers debut album at this show. 8pm; $25.
 

MARRIED

 
The Perfect Gift
When you’re married, it’s all about spicing things up. Why not get him something exciting from The Pleasure Chest (156 Seventh Ave S; thepleasurechest.com)? A pair of handcuffs, maybe?
 
The Perfect Meal
Philip Marie, 569 Hudson St (@ W 11th St), philipmarie.com.
Treat yourselves to a private dining room and enjoy a three-course prix fixe menu that includes delectable delights like baked brie in puff pastry, rack of lamb, grilled wild boar, and peanut butter chocolate love pie, for only $69 per person or $99 per person with wine pairing. 
 
The Perfect Night Out
Bottom’s Dream at The Tank, 151 W 46th St (btwn Sixth/Seventh Aves), thetanknyc.org
You and your husband may be committed to each other, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a little eye candy. This sexy burlesque reimagining of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream—starring Johnny Panic, Fancy Feast, Fem Appeal, and others—should get the two of you in the mood to end the evening with a bang when you get home to relieve the babysitter. 9:30pm; $15.
 

FUCK BUDDIES

 
The Perfect Gift
Condoms. Nice ones.
 
The Perfect Meal
Bamboo 52, 344 W 52nd St (btwn Eighth/Ninth Aves), bamboo52nyc.com
You know you’re going to be getting down and dirty later, so keep it light with sushi—no one likes a sloppy bottom, especially on a holiday. Bamboo 52’s $69 prix fixe meal comes with a Volcano Bowl, a sushi boat, dessert, and more!  
 
The Perfect  Night Out
Bloody Valentine’s Weekend at Blood Manor, 163 Varick St (btwn Vandam/Charlton Sts), bloodmanor.com.
Why go dancing when you can get so scared that he’ll have to hold you as tight as possible? The only hearts you’ll find at New York’s premier haunted house have been ripped will be dripping with blood. The two of you can try to stave off the horror by feeling each other up in the dark, but just make sure that’s your buddy’s hand on your ass and not someone sneaking up behind you! 7:30pm–midnight; $30.